"Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!"
- 2 Cor 5.17
One thing I've seen now more than ever is how much my God loves me. There have been times that I'm home alone just relaxing and even sitting on the computer and out of no where the love of God flows into my living room placing His comfort in me, reassuring me that He has me in His best interest. I've never felt more loved, when in the natural, I've never been more alone. It seems like everyday His love overwhelms me in a greater magnitude than the day before.
I look back to how I was several months ago and remember being so hardhearted about where I was in life. Almost blaming God for what I thought were "failures" in my life, but now realizing it was Him sparring me.
His mercy. Mercy. Mercy. I could not be more grateful for His mercy.
When I finally searched it out and saw myself the way He sees me, everything made sense. I am the righteousness of God in Christ. {2 Cor. 5.21} I have been made holy. {Hebrews 5.10} I am pure. {1 John 3.3} I am loved. {1 John 4.19} I am beautiful. {1 Peter 3.3&4} I am anointed. {1 Cor. 12.4-11} I am everything He is. {1 Cor. 11.1} All because He lives on in the inside of me.
"But the one who joins with the Lord is one spirit with the Lord."
The love of God is so much greater than any love we could search for in people. Just to know that love Himself loves you with a love that is incomparable to any love here on earth is astonishing. It's easy to get caught up in being accepted and being wanted by others, but I've come to know and realize that only do I want to be accepted and wanted by my Lord, and He has accepted me just as I am. And He's accepted you just as YOU are.
It's funny how things happen as life goes on. It's not as hard as we let ourselves believe it is. Life has been given to us so simple.
"the Spirit of God created me, and the breath of the Almighty gave me life." job 33.4
He did it all. He made it all. He fashioned out the days. He spoke it out.
&He is faithful to do it all.
I love Him. With everything I am and ever will be. {luke 10.27}
My heart.
My soul.
My mind.
My strength.
Here's to 2012. The beginning of my life is here. Ahead of me. My resolution: fall more in love with Him than ever before.
My life in Him is a life of {true} love. A life of caring for others more than myself. A life of knowing Him. A life of seeking His ways. A life of receiving revelation and knowledge on a daily basis. A life ofHis Word.
The week of June 30th-August 7th I encountered God in a new way.
I was given the privilege to go to Chiang Rai, Thailand to teach English in the schools and at a local orphanage.
Upon arrival to Chiang Rai, we had 3 different layovers in the following cities:
Minneapolis, MN
Tokyo, Japan
Bangkok, Thailand
The traveling alone was a new experience in itself; 20+ hours in the air.
(but an experience I look forward to having again soon)
This is what I wrote in my journal each night while I was in Thailand.
I hope you enjoy;
Thailand Day 1:
Though it's only been 3 days of traveling for our team, I feel now that we are well equipped and have just the perfect team for what this mission trips purpose is. 20 hours of flying and 4 hours of sleep in a hotel in Bangkok, awaiting the last 3 hour flight of the journey to Chiang Rai, I can honestly say that my life has already been changed. The moment I realized what I had gotten myself into was when we reached the Tokyo airport and there were barely any signs in English. It is, however, a miracle that none of our flights were delayed nor did anyone lose any of their luggage. His mercy and grace has definitely prepared our way ahead of us. After racing through the Bangkok airport to find our hotels shuttle service, we finally made is to a very nice hotel placed right in the middle of a trash yard. We then all decided to go eat at a restaurant we had passed on our way to the hotel. Dodging lake-sized puddles and walking briskly to get through the rain, we then were welcomed warmly to a Karaoke bar where Pastor Matt and Brandon showed off their skills along side the drunken Thai men. Afterward, we searched for and soon found a 7Eleven where we purchased bottled water and Thai wasabi chips for a snack. We soon reunited with out beds, hoping lizards wouldn't join.
Thailand Day 2:
After sticking out the last flight to Chiang Mai, we've finally reached our destination. We met our missionary, Laurel, at the airport which soon followed up with a 1 1/2 hour ride up into the mountains to our hotel we're staying at this week. When we pulled into the hotel, I was shocked to see that we were going to have our own little houses (1 bedroom, 1 bath). Lauren and I spotted a light teal blue one on the far corner and quickly called dibs on it. After touring the grounds and relaxing a bit, we met back up with Laurel for a quick meeting then off to the kids home for dinner. Dinner was absolutely amazing and the fellowship was even better. After dinner, Laurel went and got some of the kids to give us a tour of the home. There we met Nice, Frank, May, and Belle. I saw all of their land where they grow their own vegetables, mushrooms, and even have a rubber tree field. A bit later was our service where Brandon shared a quick sermon and the students let worship. It was amazing hearing Yui (one of the high school girls) lead everyone in worship. It was such a precious sound to hear; the mixture of languages. After service I met up with Yui and Lauren and we chatted for a long while. I'm looking forward to seeing what all God has in store for us here.
Thailand Day 3:
Today was our first full day here in Chiang Rai. Lauren and I both woke up early and were welcomed by a beautiful breakfast spread outside on the patio. After breakfast, our missionary, Laurel, drove us to the chapel at the orphanage to do a run through of how our schedule at the schools would be run. Lauren and I were placed in the second rotation: Obeying Commands. After we ate out delicious lunch there at the home, we left for our first English camp. When we first arrived and were getting started, we were all a bit sheepish but as time went by, we finally broke through to the kids and got the ball rolling. It was amazing to see hoe quickly the children caught on, understood, and spoke the commands. Lauren would slowly say "Miss Jackie, stand up please" and I would stand up and lead the kids to repeat "stand up please". They did such an amazing job, and even enjoyed our songs "If You're Happy and You Know It" and "Father Abraham". I loved being ridiculous and making the kids laugh, their laughter is what truly kept us going. In the end, the children learned much and we left knowing tomorrow would only get better. After a quick nap and study time we left for the home, ate and played with the kids, and even sang with the older high school girls. Tonight Lauren and I taught the devotional and decided to talk about Kind David and the gifts and anointing God has on their lives. The night ended with learning out Thai numbers and how to say "Thank you" and "Good-bye". I can already tell it's going to be tough leaving at the end of the week.
Thailand Day 4:
This morning after our wonderful breakfast we headed to one of the schools for our first English camp with the younger kids. Lauren and I finally got a good routine going. The kids seemed to really enjoy telling us what to do, anything that would make us look silly was quickly abused, but we enjoyed doing it just as much. After we finished with the younger kids, we sat down for a delicious lunch which was followed by going out to the play area and meeting all of the kids (they really enjoyed laughing at me trying to pronounce their names). Their smiles and giggles let me know they were at least happy I was trying. The camp with the older kids went great! They caught on to the activities and really ran with what they learned. After all of the rotations were through we each received a purse from the school director and got our picture taken with him. The process of leaving the school took about 30 minutes. The children swarmed us with hugs, kisses, pictures, and paper for our autographs. It took all of my strength not to cry while leaving. Girls would grab a hold of me and not let go, kiss my cheek and hands, and squeal after giving me a hug. It was such a humbling experience seeing how grateful they were. We led worship at the night’s devotional at the orphanage and were even able to celebrate a couple of the kids’ birthdays with yummy Thai cakes and a couple rounds of Ninja.
Thailand Day 5:
Today was so amazing. We had the most fun at the school we taught at today than we have had before. The kids were both so well behaved and very fun and active in participating. Lauren and mines rotation was very smooth, we finally feel like we’ve got a great working system. As we finished our lunch there at the school, the children again swarmed us asking for our autographs, it was so precious. Lauren and I took several pictures with a group of girls and it took us about 15 minutes to get through all of the BIG hugs, kisses, and autographs. I did not want to leave one bit. We got to have a good while to rest before going to the Christian Kindergarten. The children were so darling. My team, the blue team, was especially the best J. They sang “Jesus Loves Me’ and “I’m in the Lord’s Army” for us. My eyes swelled with tears as I watched the little Thai children do their motions and stomp in place. After we left, the school gave us little gifts as a thank you. Later on we went to a “Wal-Mart” type store there in Thailand called “Tesco Lotus” where we got to eat and shop around for a bit. Lauren and I found some great shirts at a little boutique there in the market.
Thailand Day 6:
It’s hard to believe that today was our last full day in Thailand. This morning after our adapter decided to pop and smoke up on us, we headed out to eat breakfast. We went to a high school today to teach 7th graders. It was very difficult at first to get the kids to get involved, but Lauren and I finally got the kids to loosen up a bit. Since we were teaching older kids than earlier in the week, Lauren and I had to improve an entirely new routine…that sure was interesting; near the end we got a good handle on everything though. Glory to God J. After we said our goodbyes we ate lunch at the school (Pad Thai), although I wasn’t too hungry due to the fact that it was blistering hot out that day. We had a couple of free hours before we went to the church to prepare for our Kids Crusade that night. I was put in charge of teaching the motions to “Superhero” and “Tell The World”. The fast songs went over SO well, the kids absolutely LOVED getting to just dance and be silly. We also had a couple of games where the kids could win prizes, those went over so well! We did worship, me and Brandon Verderber sang, Lauren Rudichuk played pad and sang, and Matt Hall played the drums for us. There were about 60-70% of just school children that were there with their families of which had never been to church before. It was so amazing seeing how happy they were and excited to be there at the service. I found myself infested with the little ones crawling all over me and pulling me every which way to play and watch them. I’m not looking forward to leaving these precious babies. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will soon return to these precious people. How could I not?
Thailand Day 7:
When I woke up realizing we were leaving today, my heart dropped. We went to the House of Grace (the orphanage) to eat breakfast and say goodbye to everyone. I knew the waterworks were going to greet us upon arrival that morning, and I was right. So many BIG hugs and kisses were given and received. The children even gave us all gifts thanking us for all we had done. Yui and I just held each other and cried, it was so hard to say goodbye to her. Not too long after, we drove to the elephant rides. We were all still very heartbroken from leaving the children, but the elephants soon made everything a lot better. Lauren and I got on the first elephant and I even got to move down and sit on the neck of the elephant. It was the most amazing experience of my life! I fell even more absolutely in love with Thailand at that moment. We had a one-hour ride and then got on little boats to ride down a river to a hot spring spa. It reeked of sulfur, but it was still very interesting. After another long ride, we ended up at the shops and market in Maesa (the northern most point of Thailand). I saw/bought so many different things. I had no desire whatsoever to leave. We go to the airport fairly early and had out last Thai dinner with Laurel. As we boarded our plane and took off for Bangkok, my heart was left behind in Thailand.
So, as you can tell…
Thailand left quite an impression on my heart.
My vision has been broadened of my ministry and what all God has in store for me.
Writing a quick little blog doesn't do justice the true impact this trip had on my life.
Feel free to ask me questions!
I'd absolutely LOVE to share with you.
There is nothing I'd rather do than magnify the name of Jesus.
It is HIM and only HIM that I want to be seen in my life.
I've gone through struggles, I've encountered heartaches, I've been tempted, I've been attacked.
BUT...
I have overcome, I have been renewed, I have been redeemed, I am what God says I am.
"i will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
i will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths,
from the realm of the dead."
[psalm 86.12&13]
Today was a day of deep cleaning and organization.
Both in my dorm and myself.
Wiped down counter tops. Forgave.
Vacuumed. Repented.
Did my laundry. Checked my heart.
"Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world" -George Bernard Shaw
God has His best in mind.
We sometimes find it difficult to determine God's will for our lives in certain situations. Times when you don't find a clear direction can be very confusing and frustrating. God gave Moses the burning bush, He showed his will to Gideon with the fleece, and He spoke to Saul with thunder and lightening. When He does this for us, it's easy to understand God's guidance. But He seldom does it this way. To truly find God's will for our life we must step out in faith and obey. This can be scary, but we need to realize God is there beside us and he will not allow us to stray as long as we trust in Him.
"in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
[proverbs 3.6]
"the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord...."
[psalm 37.23]
"your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left."
[isaiah 30.21]
It is FOREVER the desire of my heart to live out His perfect will for my life.
I am done second guessing Him.
I have layed down unnecessary baggage.
Through the Word and beckoning of the Holy Spirit on the inside of me I will to do His will.
